Friend with Benefits

I have always always thought of myself as having a lot of friends. Since I was a little girl, I always found myself surrounded by people! Always! There was definitely a point where my 'friends' meant more to me than my family did...in more ways than one!

a FRIEND is: a confidant, a companion, someone who wants to walk through the valleys with you, a lover, knows all the intimate details of your life,

Marriage is a relationship as a Husband/Wife and a friend; a lover and a friend.

Be friendly toward all, but only be friends with few! You may have a lot of relationships...but few friends!

Your first friend, other than Jesus, HAS to be your spouse!

F ruitful (Gen 1:28)
R eciprocal (you both have to work on your friendship)
I ntimate  (Adam KNEW Eve) (1 Cor 13:12)
E njoyable  (Ecc 9:7-9)
N eeded (Gen 2:18)
D evoted (Romans 12:15, Proverbs 17:17)
S anctified (Proverbs 13:20)

People don't fall out of love. They may fall out of repentance, but they don't fall out of love. That's another way of saying that God's a liar. He tells us we can even love our enemies. Don't follow your heart. Guard your heart. Love comes from God. Love doesn't begin with us; it begins with God. We can still love them with the love God gives us. We have access to the TRUE love. Your spouse is not your enemy, your spouse is your ally!

Friendship doubles the joy and cuts the grief in half!

3 Kinds of relationships: 
Back to back (battle, bitter, not happy, not friends)
Shoulder to shoulder (coworker, business partner, work at life; marriage is a lot of this...but not all of it.)
Face to Face (put down your phone, intimate, date nights, sacred moments; Bible's language of friendship)

Men and woman build their friendships differently:

• Men build their relationships shoulder-shoulder. 
• Women build their relationships face-face. 

The key here is for men to figure out what face-face looks like to their wives and for women to figure out what shoulder-shoulder looks like to their husbands.

3 Levels of Communication:

Facts (most of our conversations)

Opinions (as a relationship moves deeper...)

Feelings (rarely talked about)

Marriages that are face-face; they're enduring and endearing.
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Just had a little thought. People sometimes treat Jesus as the 'go-to guy' when something bad happens, or the 'i'll keep Him in my pocket in case i need Him' Man. If I found someone who values Jesus and who He is as the One True God, and he actually has a sincere relationship with Christ....I would think that would be how he treated his wife..... hmmm. Food for thought. I guess you could say this: A man will value his wife as much as he values Christ, but no more. So that will be how I know. Follow his devotion to God. That's how I will know my husband. :)

My Joy Switch Catch: Suffering

this series matt's doing at rock bridge is amazing. i mean...amazing. and just what i need. all the time. i've learned that the problem is mostly allowing people, anyone, the power of your switch. that's basically what it comes down to. i really have had a lot of 'practice' choosing to control my own joy switch and resting in that joy Christ gives me.... in every day relations, in relationships, at work, even in my own battling mind. Jesus has helped me overcome death way too many times, and helped me find that joy again. it kinda helps a little when your mind is blocked by just how bad things are, i guess. and that's how it has always been for me.

but what happens when i have a constant reminder every day of the suffering and pain and misery and hardships that one of my family members has to endure...every day...and it just gets worse and worse???

my aunt, dora, is wasting away. she has a disease. MSA. its killing her. every day, she dies a little more. some days are worse than others. "what's next?" is always in the front of my mind. 3 years ago, she was normal, taking care of people like a nurse does. she can't put her own clothes on. she cant get out of her chair by herself. its hard for her to eat. her hand-eye coordination is going more and more. her blood pressure stays super low. the ground moves under her feet. she falls. a lot. and hits her head. a lot. she aspirates on her food. its hard to swallow. she takes so much medicine. she has to go to speech therapy...its hard for her to talk. she shakes...like parkinson's. her bladder doesn't want to always work. she can't write. she fractured one of her hands in a fall she took a couple of weeks ago. she can't use her walker.

she turned 58 on january 18. that's not young. but if you knew how full of life my aunt dora was just a few years ago, you'd understand how dramatic it is for all the family.

i know that God is the Healer. i know that, while He may not be healing her physical body, He is preparing her for the rest of her journey. i know God works things out for His Purpose...for our good. i know that there is grace in everything.

but when i see it, in front of my eyes....


its. so. hard.

To Mingle? or Not to Mingle?

I'm a big ball of emotions right now and I just don't understand them. Not even in the least bit. There's anger, sadness, confusion, anxiety. I want to cry, you know, just to let them all out! But I have no tears. Better yet, I wouldn't even know what they were for! Haha! I just got back from seeing my therapist (I love our time together) and it looks like I've got a long road ahead of me in sorting out these emotions.

2011 was a milestone year in more ways than one! I've grown so much as a person, as a Christ follower. I've learned to stand up for myself and for my own well-being in work and church and personal relationships. When I see that something has the potential to not be healthy in any way for me, I develop this caution that I've never had before. When I'm threatened, I don't tuck myself back into my shell anymore. I've loved, I've lost. And I believe I'm stronger now than I've ever been.

It's hard to come off a streak like that! :) With strength comes opposition. Not just from other people, but also from within. I feel like I scare people off; guys, gals, coworkers, youth workers. Pretty much anyone. I'm not sure how everyone sees me, but I'm certain how some do. I'm intimidating. I'm confident. I love Jesus. I have wisdom. I know what I want.

I want a guy who loves Jesus...not only that, but who also follows Him. I want a guy who can bring something to the table; I don't want a relationship where it's all about me and what I like and what I did during the day and how I feel about things. I want him to have a hobby and have a passion about something other than being just like me. That's annoying. I want a guy who has an identity; in Christ and as a person. My therapist today told me that I would make such a great Minister's Wife. :o  What does that mean?? I'm ready to help. I'm ready to strengthen. I'm ready to serve. 

I want a youth group where there aren't cliques. I want the kids to love coming to church and to not be confused about the happenings of every week. I want youth leaders want to lead, and to love!

I want friends who love me as much as I love them. I don't want to be forgotten. I love going out and laughing about "Sanchez's" for hours for no reason. :) I want conversation.

What do I do to get all of these things?? Some of them, I have. And I'm so so so very grateful! God really does bring people together just at the right time for all the right reasons. It meas so much to me that God finds favor in me! And to know just how much He cares for me. Wow. It truly just sweeps me off my feet.

I'm ready to find my match. In every area of my life. So... other than prayer, How do I do it?