Last Night...

Thursdays are especially good for me. I love going to Rockbridge. Everything Matt says points directly at me. Christ is really speaking to me lately...whether its by an event that happens, a thought I have, or just something someone says. Last week, Dustin Coker invited us to come to Stage123 after service. They meet and just hang out, get into the Word, or just fellowship with each other. I didn't go last week, but I chose to go last night. And I'm so very glad I did.

I never ever ever open up to people...especially when I just start hanging out with them. Keith was reading in a book called "Cry of The Soul" or something like that. While the literacy of that book and the knowledge of Keith and Dustin are nothing compared to mine.... I actually understood the discussion...  I'm telling you right now that there was such a sweet presence in that room. The Holy Spirit blanketed me in a way that I haven't experienced in a while. And not to mention how needed it was. :)

The chapter of the book we were discussing was about Godly and ungodly despair. Here are some things I jotted down while we were all talking::

• Howling Prayer... need more than an answer or explanation. feeling lost. need perspective. SEEK GOD!! Psalm 77. Turn TOWARD your struggles; not AWAY from them.
• We don't turn it over to Him. Or put it in His hands. I bottle it up; suppress it. Questioning God honors Him, trusting that He has those answers.
• Memory is not just a thought, its imagination. We know He has shown Himself in Faith.
• To remember the past is to reshape the future with desire and hope.
• He brings us down to bring us up.

So ... the point in all this is to say that I asked for advice. I know that I wrote in an earlier post that when it comes to anything negative/bad/tragic...or anything that isn't good or happy... that happens in my life, I just pretend that it happens to someone else. I guess I do that just so that I don't have to deal with things. I've done that for about 11 years.... its hard to change that now, even if I did know how to.

When I tell them all this, I got look of intrigue, confusion, compassion, and absolute interest. That's when Keith said this: 

Imagine that I just got my leg chopped off. I could pretend as long as I want to that it didn't happen to me, but my leg is still gushing blood. You have to deal with it in order for it to be healed.

I say that to say this: When you need those certain people put in your life, the Holy Spirit comes and opens up your heart in order for you to receive that. HE is the only one who knows the path to take. All I have to do is open up my eyes, and my heart, and my mind, and FOLLOW HIM!!!!!!!!!!