Well it happened. Mamaw went on to be with Jesus. On Monday, November 21, she moved her arms from behind her head to down on her chest and just passed away. So peaceful. So full of grace. I'm not sure there is a better way to go than that, honestly. Her birthday was on November 24; she would have been 85 years old. But I know that now she doesn't hurt any more. Thanksgiving was hard. Oma, Dora, Michelle and I were planning on surprising her for her birthday that morning. But she never saw it.
You know, for some reason, this past week...with all the stuff going on...I miss my mom soooooo much. Like more than I ever have. I feel like people, including her family, has just forgotten about her. I hurt because other people have just lost their mother. I hurt because I'm afraid that my mamaw will soon just be another memory. And it's hard. It brings so much joy to my heart when I hear someone talk about my mom and how much she meant to them. It makes me happy to hear her name escape someone's lips...as if she's still here with us. Gone too soon. But forgotten early. For myself to be remembered while I'm still on this earth...I know how special it makes me feel. But to know how my mom touched someone else's heart...that is what a legacy is. It's been 12 1/2 years...and for someone to know things about her, to remember how she laughed, or just to know that I act just like her. :) That's a legacy. And my mamaw is the same way. People are going to remember who she is, what she's done, and how she's helped them along their way. And that is what's special about my mamaw.
It's so selfish, though, to wish for all of my family who is gone to be back here with me. The ones who belonged to Christ...they are living it up on those streets of gold, hanging out with Jesus, and singing with the angels! They've moved on! Doing work where there's no suffering, no death, no pain. Whoa. One day, it'll be my turn. And I just CAN'T WAIT! Once my work on this earth is finished, and God is ready to receive me, I'm ready! And just thinking about it...my heart overflows with joy!
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