I've been thinking lately about love and dating and marriage and all the rest of those other sappy stuff I've never taken too seriously. I'm pretty sure it's one of those 'it's a full moon because things are just getting too weird' kinda things. I think I go through seasons...and so does everyone else....where I want to be recognized. So I used to text people just so that they know I'm still alive and kicking even though they may not even care as much as what my name was. :) Lame. That's the girl I was about 2-3 years ago. I don't raise my hand to be acknowledged by anyone who doesn't want to acknowledge me, even though I still remain extremely approachable. :)
For maybe the past...3 weeks, yeah. 3 weeks. Things have just gotten plain weird. Some guys who used to be my 'friends' (and I'm using that word very lightly!) have somehow found mysterious ways (facebook) of contacting me. Out of the Blue. Random. "How have you been?" "______ wants to be friends. Accept?" Text messages in the dead of night, knowing that normal people sleep: "What are you doing?" And this one guy, insists on calling me 'Sistah' and giving inspirational comments about how us gals should always hold on to our inner strength. =// I'm not impressed. I mean...don't get me wrong. I love everyone. A lot. Maybe too much, if that's at all possible!(Which I don't think it is!) But I started getting discouraged a little because it almost felt like those 'positive' people in my life were somehow replaced by memories of a life not lived to love Christ.
Today, My amazing friend Jake sent me a link to a message series by Andy Stanley: "The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating". I'm telling you, it couldn't have come at a more perfect time! I know exactly where I stand as far as what I'm looking for in a partner. I have an imaginary list that God says is what a husband is supposed to be. So, knowing all of that, I made the decision to make a purity promise to Christ...until I got married. I got this pretty nifty ring that has the inscription "1Thes4:3-4". It's important. I'm so so so very glad that Jesus loves me enough to still accept me when we all know that I messed some things up. His amazing forgiveness....just blows me out of the water! But I'm pretty sure I've already let my thoughts on all that be known in a previous post... :)
I watched the first message of the 4 part series. I'm in awe. All this time, I was daydreaming up some husband who is perfect on God's standard. I wasn't looking for him...but I was definitely only concentrating on who he would be. But...what about me? Who am I? Am I who my future husband would want? Would he pursue me because he views me as a 'Proverbs 31' perfect woman? Am I the person the person I'm looking for is looking for?
So he went over the 1 Corinthians "Love Chapter" 13. I've heard it a million times. Love is patient, you know the rest. I know. I get it. But I always thought about it as the way I am supposed to love my 'husband'....not as the way I'm supposed to BE. So I started thinking....If I want my 'husband' to all of those things, and love me how Jesus wanted me to be loved, and to be patient and kind and considerate and not boasting and not dishonoring or disgraceful....That means that I need to be all of those things too! Whoa!
So now that I'm settled in how my life should be while I 'wait' for my husband, I'm letting God work on my own personal life, attitude, priorities, heart, etc.
I want to become someone worth catching and someone worth pursuing. I want to be ready...so that when it's time for me to be with my person that they see me as the person they are looking for.
"If you're single, what you're doing right now in terms of your dating life will follow you around. You're relational past will show up at the most inopportune times." -Andy Stanley.
I'm going to be watching the other 3 messages in this series. I have a feeling that this could end up being life changing. =]]
