Sometimes the saying "when it rains, it pours" seems all too real. As I wrote in a previous post a few weeks ago, my health problems are becoming a little too overwhelming when I feel alone. I thank God that I have Jake to walk along this road right beside me. I'm so thankful that he puts things into perspective for me. When I am told I can't do something, I try and find every way possible to do it....just to prove the doctors wrong.
Yesterday, I got a little bit of some pretty scary, life-changing news. I've been having quite a few of 'female' problems. Normally, I wouldn't get things like that checked out, but when my pain effects those around me, it's time to get a handle on things. Even then, I was hoping that it would be a quick, easy, and painless. So I went to my doctor and the report isn't exactly what I wanted to hear.
Initial diagnosis is endometriosis. I don't know much about what that is. I do know that many women have that. My doctor told me that I would pretty much have two options: pregnancy or hysterectomy. I'm gonna say that neither of those are good for me. AT ALL. Doc told me that hormone therapy would be useful, but I'm not able to do that with me having this kidney disease. He also told me that we could do a surgery to 'clean everything' inside my abdomen, and that would give me about 6-8 months pain-free.
I've got an ultrasound next week to see if there are any other sources of my pain, like cysts or the like. Which, honestly, I'm praying that there is something else in there that is an easier fix. One quick surgery and we're done!
Talking to Jake last night, he put things into perspective for me. What I have, what we have together is nothing but God-given. I thank Him every day for giving me a love that I never thought I'd feel. I thank Him that He's given me every breath, every memory, every moment. I thank Him for Jake. I know he's my partner for life.
He told me that he's thankful for everything we have, for everything God has blessed us with. Anything extra is nothing but His grace. He told me that he's not leaving. He would rather have me healthy for as many years as God blesses me with. I can't even put into words how much the support of Jake means to me. I don't know how he can give up so much, for just me.
Somehow, it puts everything into perspective for me. I was told that it's almost too late for me to have a baby...and we're not married yet. So that step would be a few years later anyway.
In the meantime, I'm asking for some prayer. Pray that my doctor guides us in the right direction. Pray that I am able to recognize the right choice, not just what I want. And pray that we are able to emotionally accept all of it.
