I've been having some hard times lately. Its not like I feel sorry for myself or anything....I just really really want a life with my parents. You know...like the normal things. But I've been dealing with it. For the first time in my life, I'm dealing with it. I used to put it off in the back of my head and act like I don't care.
So there's some progress. :)
I'm not sure when it happened.... but I WANT A FAMILY. I've never wanted that. I have always said that I was gonna die early (I know how awful that sounds, April.) so I didn't need to waste my time with something so unimportant as a husband or children. Now I want that. Its almost like I would be missing out on life if I don't have a family! Weird.
I was talking to two of my aunts yesterday when we were coming home from my Mawmaw's house. I had mentioned to them that I couldn't wait to have a baby (in like 10 years). Both of them stopped me cold in my tracks. As soon as I said that, they both told me that I don't need to have any children. Evidently this kidney disease that I have (thanks mom) is more serious than I thought. I wouldn't really listen to what they say normally... but one of my aunt's is a nurse and she knows about this disease. =// So that's where that is. I'm not really sure how to comprehend that. Both my kidney doctor and my gynecologist told me that it was risky if I decided to have children.... but of course, I didn't believe them. Kind of a punch in the gut.
But seriously!!!! What am I even talking about??? :) I have: an awesome family, amazing friends, and a God who loves me. I don't have a boyfriend, so no need to even think about babies right now. :) I will be glad and stay blessed in all that I do have!!! :) Amannnnd!
one day at a time.
no need to worry about future things
when they aren't even in your grasp.
Girl, I have always felt the same way. Not many ppl think thats normal haha and Im not saying its going to happen that way, Ive just always felt that way. So I know exactly what you mean. And Im sorry to hear all of this...but excited at the same time, to hear you want all those things! You've gotta remember, God is God. Nothing a doctor (or ppl) says can change His plans for us if we're following Him. Impossible. Thats just an opportunity for God to get the glory! :)
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