Dirty, Consuming Sin

Bondage. Captive. Consuming. Attitude. 

Derailed. Empty. Disappointment. Stalled. 

Poison. Broken. Separation. Distracted. Crushed. 

Spoiled. Wasted. Wrecked. Wounded.

 Ruined. Doubt. Pain. Regret. Chaos. 

Death. 

Sin isn't pretty. Never has been. I get caught up in the 'pleasure' or 'fun' of it...without thinking about what sin actually is...and what it does...and what it means.

Last night, I got a big dose of reality. Identity Theft Pt3: Sin. Matt brought up a lot of things that I've never thought about. We try to 'control & manage' our sin.  Thinking that way seems to be a never-ending cycle. I think, Surely with God I can 'handle' this...my own temptations aren't that bad. With that mentality, it's up to us as fleshly, sinful humans to put our own sin to death and not ever be tempted to revisit that again. Not happenin'. 

Matt gave 3 points:

1. Sin is pleasurable and desirable so we make it excusable.

guilty. i think this is probably true for everyone, but it's especially true for me. my thought process seems to be messed up more than i care to admit. everyone else does it. what's the harm? there is quite a steep price....

2. Sin is enslaving and defeating so we make it identifying.

well i did it...might as well keep going. it's like a lie that keeps spinning out of control until you're unsure of how truthful any of it ever was. that's who we become. our sin. talk about a punch in the face. 

3. Sin is more about who we are than how we behave.

when matt said this, my heart stopped beating i think. he said that we change the definition of 'sin' to 'MISTAKE'. sure we make mistakes. sure we're gonna slip up. but there still isn't justification in committing a sin. No matter how big or small. Just isn't right.

"Sin steals our identity of who God created us to be."
 Did you get that? God created us to be someone without sin. Instead, we're full of it. Full of hate. Full of lust. Full of envy. Full of self-righteousness. Full of sin. 
But we have a promise in Romans 6: WE MAY HAVE BEEN BORN INTO SIN IN THIS HIDEOUSLY BROKEN WORLD WITH INSANELY BROKEN PEOPLE... BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY!!!


Don't use God's grace to justify yourself to keep sinning, use His grace as power to STOP sinning!
Grace is costly, has violent power, and is completely transforming...It will never lead me to continue doing the very thing it rescued me from. What amazing grace!!!!!! 


I have to stop trying to 'control & manage' my sin....I have to 'KILL & CONQUER' it! And Jesus does that through His grace! 
My sin put Jesus on the cross. That little lie I told...stealing...my bad attitude... Jesus DIED for that. He is the Assassin of Sin! The Conqueror! He gave us the 'vaccine'. 


So I was left with one question: How am I going to allow Jesus to take control and kill & conquer the sin in my life? I can't hold on to it anymore. When Matt put it into perspective that I killed Jesus.... 
Wow... 


So in response to the words on top...I don't want to feel that. Any of it. I don't want my friends to feel it. I'm praying hard for those chains to break! It's already been done! It's already Paid In Full! Accept it! I'm praying for my friends to be released of the bondage that sin holds. I'm praying that their relationship with Christ grows and grows and grows. I want them to be completely filled with the power God gave us to overcome the persuasions and pleasures and acceptance sin offers. I don't want any of that. Label me an outcast....I Love Jesus. And it hurts me so much to know that I've hurt Him.